Should you wish to contact
the Biscuit Appreciation Society, there are many ways you can go about
this simple task. These are listed below:
The best way to get in contact
with us is to use e-mail, our address is email@example.com.
Please use this as your primary form of contact, as the other methods
usually have very limited success.
We realise that not everyone
possesses the technological equipment expected for communications in
the new millennium, and in this case, you can use pigeon post. Since
pigeons have a telepathic ability for locating biscuits, we often find
that our Headquarters is plagued by pigeons clamouring for a peck at
our tasty delights. Simply attach your message to the pigeons foot (to
avoid cruelty to the pigeon, please limit packages to 1Kg or less) and
tell it to "go find the biscuits".
You can also facsimile device
to send your message, although we recommend that you do not try to send
biscuits using this method, as we have found that this often results
in the non-functioning of our facsimile machine.
Many people have asked us
how they can get instant answers to plaguing biscuit questions, and
for this purpose we are training 3 of our members as telepaths, although
when this service becomes available, we are anticipating that it will
be so popular that many people will have to be put in a queue due to
high demand. We are also looking into a way to send biscuits reliably
using this method, as getting our telepathic members to eat them usually
results in the digestion rather than the transmission of the biscuits.
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