here at the Biscuit Appreciation Society are very much aware
that many biscuits are often on sale for various amounts of petty cash.
However, we wish to warn all possible purchasers about the often painful
tale that may lie ahead. It has often been reported that biscuit sales
have indeed provided many a biscuit appreciator, with new styles, tastes
and sensual selections of biscuits. Whilst most biscuit sales
are in good nature, and will not cause you any problems, there have
been some cases where the biscuits have not always been what you imagined
them to be.
to look out for:
To ensure that you biscuit sales shopping is as productive and as uneventful
as possible, follow these top tips, gratefully submitted by Andrew Horton.
Whilst these cheap biscuits may seem a good bargain at the time, they
in fact are not! Many a time, have I almost fallen for this trick, although
luckily I have always come to my senses. You see, these biscuits are
often of poor quality, especially if they are a supermarket's "Own
brand". The biscuits contained within, are often cheap imitations
of expensive and tasty biscuits, such as the infamous bourbon biscuit.
Often, the taste simply does not compare to properly packaged biscuits,
and you will be mostly disappointed - or even put off that particular
biscuit, if you have never tasted the proper version! However, it is
worth noting that these cheap biscuits are perfect for "dunking"
(as described in the dunking section, on this web site). So, if that
is what you intend the biscuits for, we do recommend these biscuits.
Never buy the biscuit just because it is in a nice pretty metal box,
unless of course you wish only to keep the box, and discard the biscuits.
If this is the case, we recommend that you post the biscuits to Africa's
needy crocodile population, where they will be greatly appreciated.
Never buy biscuits that are not meant to be broken! There are
specially broken biscuits, that usually come in a large bag, marked
"Broken biscuits". They are often of greatly reduced price, and
are often of the same quality of the supermarket own brand, however,
they also posses the perfect qualities for dunking. Biscuits that are
on the shelf, that are not marked as specifically broken, should
be avoided at all cost. This is because it indicates mishandling of
the biscuits, which means that:
a) They will be no good for dunking (after all, you can't dunk crumbs)
b) There may be small holes in the packet, where the air has got in,
and made the biscuits soft (see the section on soft
Avoid all teenage mutant ninja/hero turtle biscuits. Even though this
green turtle craze ended many years ago, it is still possible
that some vendors will still have these blighters lingering in
dark store cupboards, which they failed to become rid of in the massive
turtle sales that rocked the world in 1996. Believe us, you nor
your children will want them! Not only because the sell-by dates will
have expired over five years ago, but because of the blue packaging.
If you have any questions regarding biscuit sales, please don't feel
free to contact us.